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Post by Tangerine Sherlock on Jan 19, 2012 10:23:29 GMT 1
Not everybody's taste in these political correct times, but some might enjoy so here is your first daily Limerick
There was a young fellow named Sweeny Whose girl was a terrible meanie. The hatch of her snatch Had a catch that would latch- She could only be screwed by Houdini.
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Post by yenilira on Jan 19, 2012 12:25:43 GMT 1
There was an old woman from Turkey With the tourists she was quite flirty But her "Turkish Delights" would give the bravest a fright And send them quite berserky
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Post by Deleted on Jan 19, 2012 17:52:26 GMT 1
when Titian was mixing rose madder, his model wasposed on a ladder, her position to Titian suggested coition, so he jumped up the ladder and 'ad her
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Post by Tangerine Sherlock on Jan 19, 2012 18:53:08 GMT 1
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Post by yenilira on Jan 19, 2012 21:14:01 GMT 1
Watch out "...and your starter for ten" & "Joke.. to get the day started" you've got competition !
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Post by Tangerine Sherlock on Jan 20, 2012 7:16:15 GMT 1
There was a young girl from Sofia Who succumbed to her lover's desire. She said. "It's a Sin, But now that it's in. Could you shove it a few inches higher!"
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Post by yenilira on Jan 20, 2012 20:18:14 GMT 1
There was a young lady from Turkey Whose behaviour was often quite quirky She sprinkled the Bosphorus With pellets of phosphorus And the waters soon stopped looking murky.
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Post by tangerinerob79 on Jan 20, 2012 21:33:48 GMT 1
Their was a young woman from Ealing who had a very peculiar feeling so she laid on her back and opened her crack and p*ssed all over the ceiling
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Post by Tangerine Sherlock on Jan 21, 2012 12:50:15 GMT 1
yep think we are reaching the required gutter level now lol
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Post by Tangerine Sherlock on Jan 21, 2012 13:03:38 GMT 1
A farmer i know named O'doole Has a long and incredible tool. He can use it plow, or to diddle a cow, or just as a cue-stick at pool.
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Post by Tangerine Sherlock on Feb 3, 2012 11:02:16 GMT 1
There was a young sailor named Bates Who danced the fandango on skates. But a fall on his cutlass Has rendered him nutless, And practically useless on dates.
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Post by mickyg on Feb 5, 2012 14:43:29 GMT 1
There was a young fellow from King's, Whose mind was on heavenly things, He'd a burning desire For a boy in the choir, Whose arse was like jelly on springs!
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Post by mickyg on Feb 5, 2012 14:45:36 GMT 1
Under the spreading chestnut tree, The village smithy sat, Amusing himself, By abusing himself And catching his load in his hat!
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Post by mickyg on Feb 6, 2012 11:01:59 GMT 1
There was a young man from Dundee, Who got stung on the head by a wasp, When asked, "Did it hurt?", He said, "No, not a lot, it can do it again if it likes."
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Post by mickyg on Feb 6, 2012 11:10:02 GMT 1
A smart engineer from Ascencion, Came up with a foreplay invention, It's computerised lick, Gave his girlfriend a kick But played hell with her pre-menstrual tension!
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Post by mickyg on Feb 6, 2012 11:14:04 GMT 1
Said a snuff taking vicar, "With ease, I can stifle the noisiest sneeze." But in chapel one day, His arsehole gave way And shit filled his pants to the knees!
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Post by mickyg on Feb 7, 2012 9:51:53 GMT 1
Said a thick headed Greek called Anubis, "I know all about pubies and boobies but I don't know the location of the bloody eustachian or where the fallopian tube is!"
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Post by mickyg on Feb 8, 2012 10:01:32 GMT 1
A sexy young lady, Anne Tunney, Had a habit you may find quite funny, She'd roll up a buck, In her snatch ere she'd f***, So her husband would come into money!
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Post by mickyg on Feb 9, 2012 14:03:12 GMT 1
There was a young scholar from Brighton, Who remarked to a tart, "You're a tight 'un", She replied, " 'Pon my soul, You're in the wrong hole, There's oodles of room in the right 'un"!
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Post by Tangerine Sherlock on Feb 9, 2012 19:34:23 GMT 1
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Post by Deleted on Feb 10, 2012 23:09:07 GMT 1
When Delia bought Norwich City the Ipswich fans wrote her a ditty "the tractor boys rock Your menu is cock" but now aint her team sitting pretty?
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Post by Tangerine Sherlock on Feb 11, 2012 8:31:17 GMT 1
very good lol
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Post by mickyg on Feb 13, 2012 13:29:32 GMT 1
A mathematician called Rex, Devised an equation for sex, He proved a good f***, Isn't patience or luck, But a function of y over x!
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Post by yeoldetangerine on Feb 13, 2012 17:33:59 GMT 1
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Post by mickyg on Feb 15, 2012 9:54:08 GMT 1
A fussy young woman called McEwan, Disliked the idea of screwin', "I finger my muffin, 'cause it's safer than stuffin' and besides, I can see what I'm doin'".
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