Post by yenilira on Nov 10, 2011 1:26:18 GMT 1
No, not the song made famous by Julie Rogers in 1964.
Turkish culture is brimming with symbolism, as you've probably already noticed from previous threads.
Handed down from generation to generation, traditions are upheld, especially in the village communities. Whilst some customs are practised widely, there are also those which are characteristic of the village or region, or those specifically interwoven with Islam. I'm not suggesting for one minute that everything described here happens all the time or in exactly the same way, there are variations, or that no other customs exist. Don't treat it as the 'last word' on the matter, and perhaps you will be able to identify with certain aspects every now and then.
In 1926, the Turkish Parliament, with Atatürk as its President, passed a law forbidding polygamy. Up until then, polygamy had been allowed by Islamic law in some Muslim countries. As a replacement, civil marriages took place, and these were required to be registered at the official institutions. Divorce was also introduced and this established equal rights for men and women.
A traditional Turkish wedding in Alanya usually begins on a Friday, following afternoon prayer at the mosque. The men all go round to the future-bridegroom's house, where the Turkish flag is flying, thus telling everyone in the wider neighbourhood that (one of) the household's son(s) will be getting married in a few days time. Nowadays, young, wealthier, generations often choose to hold the wedding reception in stylish hotels or restaurants, but traditionally the wedding takes place at the parents’ homes - one day at the girl's parents, the other at the boy's.
For convenience let's just consider the weekend scenario. On Saturday the party takes place at the girl's parent's house. An elaborate lunch is served and usually includes traditional Wedding Soup.. In Alanya they have a special version of this, with meat balls, chickpeas and rice.
On Sunday the ‘real’ wedding day takes place at the bridegroom's house. He goes and collects his bride from her parent's house, where the girl says her farewells to her family. Most girls in Turkey live at home until they get married. Immediately afterwards she'll go and live with her husband, either in their own home, or with him and his family.
There are also a number of traditions associated with this parting of ways. The father can tie a red ribbon round his daughter's wrist as a sign that she's still a virgin. Then he raises and lowers her veil three times, each time making a wish for his daughter. For example, that she will never divorce, will be happily married and will be blessed with healthy children.
In the meantime the bridegroom will be driven to his bride by his best friend. This frequently involves a whole procession, with his friends and family following in their cars. Along the way, lots of people stand outside and watch. Not only out of curiosity, but also because anyone who manages to stop the bridegroom's car gets a reward. To this end the chauffeur always carries a couple envelopes with him, each containing a couple of lira. At times this gets a bit kamikaze-like, as spectators often literally jump in front of the moving car!
On arrival at the house, the bride gets in and they head off to her family-in-law's house. When they get there, she will only get out of the car when the family offers her something of value. Depending on the family's wealth, this can be anything from a plot of land to a house, or from animals to gold.
If the gift is to her satisfaction, she gets out of the car.
As soon as she enters the house, she is supposed to kick over a bowl of water. The bowl has to break to be able to dispel all adversity. The water signifies novelty, in the sense that the marriage avoids becoming stale!
After this, the sweethearts drink a glass of ºerbet, a sweet drink made from sugar, lime juice and rose-essence. This is symbolic too: they take this sweet drink so that ‘... they'll carry on saying sweet things to each other for the rest of their lives together’ (i.e. they won't say anything nasty!).
If you're ever invited to a Turkish wedding, you may have some trouble coming up with a gift.
[We gave the usual (British) gift of a set of towels one year].
Something which always works is a special gold coin, sold by a few of the jewellers in Alanya. Prices vary depending on the size of the coin, but you can get hold of them for as little as 30 TL. During the wedding you will notice that time is set aside for you to pin the coin to the sash often worn by the bride.
Money is also commonly used as a gift.
On the evening before the wedding, or often on the Friday, it is usual for the 'Kina Gececi', or 'Henna Night', to take place.
You could call this the woman's singles party. That doesn't mean that she goes on a pub crawl with all her girlfriends, rather it signifies her last evening out with them. Female friends and family from both the bride and bridegroom's side come along. They play music, dance and talk about the coming wedding. The highlight of the evening, however, is the application of henna – a reddish substance – to the centre of the bride's palms and fingertips.
It goes like this: first a red cloth is draped over the girl's head. This is often a cloth which has been in the family for generations. Next she clenches her fists. The other women try to apply the henna to her hands, but she keeps her fists tightly closed. She'll only open them when a gold coin is put in them! The cloth over her head has a similar symbolic meaning, i.e. anyone who wants to see her face, first has to give gold.
Although the Kina Gececi is considered to be the ‘ladies evening’, these days men are also present, including the future husband. While they often observe the spectacle from a distance, it's not unusual for some secretive flirting to go on between the single men and women……
Most, if not all, of those threads about Turkey have been, in a sense, male-orientated, so to (hopefully) balance thing out a bit, I'm doing a couple of topics that would be of more interest to the ladies on the board......
YL.
p.s. Who does remember that song (and the words) from that year?
Turkish culture is brimming with symbolism, as you've probably already noticed from previous threads.
Handed down from generation to generation, traditions are upheld, especially in the village communities. Whilst some customs are practised widely, there are also those which are characteristic of the village or region, or those specifically interwoven with Islam. I'm not suggesting for one minute that everything described here happens all the time or in exactly the same way, there are variations, or that no other customs exist. Don't treat it as the 'last word' on the matter, and perhaps you will be able to identify with certain aspects every now and then.
In 1926, the Turkish Parliament, with Atatürk as its President, passed a law forbidding polygamy. Up until then, polygamy had been allowed by Islamic law in some Muslim countries. As a replacement, civil marriages took place, and these were required to be registered at the official institutions. Divorce was also introduced and this established equal rights for men and women.
A traditional Turkish wedding in Alanya usually begins on a Friday, following afternoon prayer at the mosque. The men all go round to the future-bridegroom's house, where the Turkish flag is flying, thus telling everyone in the wider neighbourhood that (one of) the household's son(s) will be getting married in a few days time. Nowadays, young, wealthier, generations often choose to hold the wedding reception in stylish hotels or restaurants, but traditionally the wedding takes place at the parents’ homes - one day at the girl's parents, the other at the boy's.
For convenience let's just consider the weekend scenario. On Saturday the party takes place at the girl's parent's house. An elaborate lunch is served and usually includes traditional Wedding Soup.. In Alanya they have a special version of this, with meat balls, chickpeas and rice.
On Sunday the ‘real’ wedding day takes place at the bridegroom's house. He goes and collects his bride from her parent's house, where the girl says her farewells to her family. Most girls in Turkey live at home until they get married. Immediately afterwards she'll go and live with her husband, either in their own home, or with him and his family.
There are also a number of traditions associated with this parting of ways. The father can tie a red ribbon round his daughter's wrist as a sign that she's still a virgin. Then he raises and lowers her veil three times, each time making a wish for his daughter. For example, that she will never divorce, will be happily married and will be blessed with healthy children.
In the meantime the bridegroom will be driven to his bride by his best friend. This frequently involves a whole procession, with his friends and family following in their cars. Along the way, lots of people stand outside and watch. Not only out of curiosity, but also because anyone who manages to stop the bridegroom's car gets a reward. To this end the chauffeur always carries a couple envelopes with him, each containing a couple of lira. At times this gets a bit kamikaze-like, as spectators often literally jump in front of the moving car!
On arrival at the house, the bride gets in and they head off to her family-in-law's house. When they get there, she will only get out of the car when the family offers her something of value. Depending on the family's wealth, this can be anything from a plot of land to a house, or from animals to gold.
If the gift is to her satisfaction, she gets out of the car.
As soon as she enters the house, she is supposed to kick over a bowl of water. The bowl has to break to be able to dispel all adversity. The water signifies novelty, in the sense that the marriage avoids becoming stale!
After this, the sweethearts drink a glass of ºerbet, a sweet drink made from sugar, lime juice and rose-essence. This is symbolic too: they take this sweet drink so that ‘... they'll carry on saying sweet things to each other for the rest of their lives together’ (i.e. they won't say anything nasty!).
If you're ever invited to a Turkish wedding, you may have some trouble coming up with a gift.
[We gave the usual (British) gift of a set of towels one year].
Something which always works is a special gold coin, sold by a few of the jewellers in Alanya. Prices vary depending on the size of the coin, but you can get hold of them for as little as 30 TL. During the wedding you will notice that time is set aside for you to pin the coin to the sash often worn by the bride.
Money is also commonly used as a gift.
On the evening before the wedding, or often on the Friday, it is usual for the 'Kina Gececi', or 'Henna Night', to take place.
You could call this the woman's singles party. That doesn't mean that she goes on a pub crawl with all her girlfriends, rather it signifies her last evening out with them. Female friends and family from both the bride and bridegroom's side come along. They play music, dance and talk about the coming wedding. The highlight of the evening, however, is the application of henna – a reddish substance – to the centre of the bride's palms and fingertips.
It goes like this: first a red cloth is draped over the girl's head. This is often a cloth which has been in the family for generations. Next she clenches her fists. The other women try to apply the henna to her hands, but she keeps her fists tightly closed. She'll only open them when a gold coin is put in them! The cloth over her head has a similar symbolic meaning, i.e. anyone who wants to see her face, first has to give gold.
Although the Kina Gececi is considered to be the ‘ladies evening’, these days men are also present, including the future husband. While they often observe the spectacle from a distance, it's not unusual for some secretive flirting to go on between the single men and women……
Most, if not all, of those threads about Turkey have been, in a sense, male-orientated, so to (hopefully) balance thing out a bit, I'm doing a couple of topics that would be of more interest to the ladies on the board......
YL.
p.s. Who does remember that song (and the words) from that year?